I'm off to Chicago at the end of July and do not see me using LiveJournal too often anymore. Just thought I'd pop in and let those on my friend's list know.

E-mail me:
brettmarlow@gmail.com

OR...

Message me at MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/positivetcell

Love is amazing.

xo
Brett

I wish it wasn't just for that night.

I wish you would talk to me and it wouldn't be awkward.

I wish I could get to know who you are.

I wish it would become something more.

I wish I had someone at my side and that it were you.

I wish I hadn't fooled myself into believing I could emotionally disconnect.

I wish I could stop thinking it through.

I wish I woulnd't beat myself up so much about it.

I wish you knew how many tears I've shed for you.

I don't regret what happened, I regret that nothing more will.

Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and
danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin' lawmen,
feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for
Christ" stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody's allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories-- all right let's see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.

- William S. Burroughs

I think know that one of the biggest things that frustrates me the most is this hidden inability to feel as though I cannot help out, offer those brilliant words, brilliant advice, or comfort that someone close is looking for. It's when something like this happens that I feel inadequately insensitive. Who was it that said intelligence is the ability to learn from your experiences and use that knowledge in solving problems? According to their definition, I'm mentally incapacitated. Why is it that when the insults and criticism come my way, my tongue doesn't even need a message from my brain, it can fire back at warp speed but when it comes time for me to be there and understand a situation that message lays limp? Maybe my couch is just that uncomfortable?

I understand. I want to advise. I want to comfort.

So no one is going to come with me to see Tegan and Sara? No one? Jesus!

Shit like this makes me sick. A commercial advertising that Nature's miracle food is the EGG? That's such bullshit.

It's here, finally! It's a hodge-podge of last weekend. I think it was one of the best weekends I've had in such a long time! Liz Phair is something special and such a sweet and kind person. She's got a potty mouth though, you gotta love it. Here's my recollections of the two shows I attended:

( Friday, October 7th, 2005 )

( Saturday, October 8th, 2005 )

I haven't gone to bed yet. This isn't anything new, I've been doing it all summer. However, around 4:30 Julie was still online so her and I got to talking and I spat out the idea of going to breakfast, I knew a restaurant I can have something to eat at opened at 6AM so we decided to go and be spontaneous. We were both SO out of it. I had a hard time ordering a fruit cup, I don't know what mumbled from my lips, but I made fun of Julie for the same reason. We just were so out of it we could hardly spit out our order, but we laughed it off. I am so sorry to you Julie. I don't know why I kept calling you Julia, what an insult! Oh, but it was funny though. I had a fruit cup, coffee (about four cups), orange juice without the pulp (unlike you napkin mouth), and a "dry" English muffin. I felt so awake and alert. I could get used to going out then. It was so fun and I've wanted to do this for a while now, so thanks for being spontaneous with me Jules! Sorry you were like half dead.

And fuck you radio stations, where was my morning Kelly Clarkson song? I wanted to know exactly what the fuck is behind her hazel eyes! But no!

We did pimp out though, gold Cadillac - how much more pimp do you get? None!

Poor Helen must think we're speed addicts. Sorry about the big P too, Jules!

I can't believe I'm still up! I stink, I need a shower.

I have the best friends. It's taken me so long to realize it, but I really do.

I got all prepared to head to bed and say "Sianara!" to today as I got all tucked in and had my bedside lamp still turned on. There I lay as I looked up to the sight of motionless ceiling fan blades. "A ha!" I thought, "All today I've been hating the weather, complaining over how humid and hot it is here, and it's not because of the exterior climate, it's because I'm the idiot who flipped his switch on his interior climate."

"Brett, you remind me of that guy... You know, Andy Warhol! The Campbell Soup guy..."

I just got an e-mail from Scene From My Life, we have a spot from Monday, July 25th until Sunday, July 31st! I signed up back in April and finally got in. It just so happens I'll be here, Rhode Island, and Philly all that week. I cannot wait! I have to think of things and places to shoot.

I miss my Sex & The City damnit! The edited reruns are not enough! Can someobody just buy all the seasons on DVD for me PLEASE?

I signed up for Netflix again so I need some movie recommendations since I can't forumalate my own taste and interests. I haven't been to the movies in the longest tims, so help me out here. I'm all about indie, Sundance, documentary, foreign, and other quirky stuff. Help!

Yeah! Kris and I are FRONT ROW center for the first show and then front row, a little to the right for the second night!!!! Could I be ANY happier? Uh, NO! Thank you my love!

Even though Sarah McLachlan, a singer/songwriter today who holds true to being herself while still being an excellent mother and an angelic musician, has been battling bouts of laryngitis before her current Afterglow Live 2005 tour even began. Her illness caused her to postpone four shows in Canada, a first for McLachlan who has been touring for years. At the beginning of the tour the singer and even her band, road crew, and others working on the tour caught a wave of sickness and have been trying to overcome it since. Last night, to a crowd of nearly 9,000, the band, crew, and especially Sarah, showed no signs vocally or physically that there was anything wrong.

McLachlan first appeared on stage in jeans and a stylish grey jacket to sing "Pills," a duet with the opening band, The Perishers, a group from Sweden who have recently released an album here in the US entitled Let There Be Morning... After their set they kindly offered to sign CDs or anything we had, take photos, and yes, even give out free hugs. I stayed in my chair in the third row, anxious for Sarah's set to begin, but I observed many others in the audience return to their seats with The Perisher's latest CD, EP, and or their record on vinyl. The audience with seats in the floor section were welcomed with two postcards before sitting down: one advertised Sarah McLachlan's Afterglow Live DVD and the other, decorated with a little button, was for The Perishers's latest release.

The stage was undergoing final touches as Sigur Rós' "Track 3," Sarah's opening song played. The beautiful pianos of the song faded out as the house lights slowly faded to black, the crowd clapping like crazy. The stage illuminated in bright yellows and greens as the new jazzing sounding "World On Fire" made its way to all the crowd's attentive ears. A few stood, but quickly returned to their seats at the sight of no one else standing. What a shame, the song deserved something much more than applause. The new arrangement was amazing! Even for McLachlan's probably best known hit, "Building A Mystery," which was performed next the crowd stayed seated.

Sarah started to chat with the crowd not too far into the set. She had gotten to experience all the different areas of Florida, performing in Pensacola, Orlando, and Sunrise before stopping in Florida. Her over all summary? Florida rocks! She absolutely adores the weather and wouldn't mind it at all each day. Another thing she loved about Florida was the crowds. "The Florida crowds rock!"

McLachlan carried on her set with a majority of songs being from her latest studio release, Afterglow. "Perfect Girl, "Drifting," "Push," and "Answer," all from the latest CD seemed like they were fit to be performed live. In my own personal opinion have a new life and emotional being evoked while being performed live compared to the versions on the disc. One of the highlights of tonight was the addition of another song from Afterglow to the set. "Time" was added to the set this tour and was performed acoustically. It could not have sounded better. It was another that I found to be more enjoyable and pleasurable to listen to in a live setting.

Before launching into another slew of Sarah's own favorite songs, she talked with us more. "You know what I just realized?" she said, "The last NHL game was played here. The Stanley Cup went to your team didn't it? I should know being from Canada and all." McLachlan, without trying to be offensive, remarked that she would have rather had it gone to a women’s team or even a smaller team. "It's supposed to go to the best team, who is to say.." She laughed and carried on with the set.

Toward the end of the set, I and others in my section could not stand to be sitting any longer. When the honks and beeps of "Sweet Surrender" started sounding, I emerged from my seat and started moving to the music. I would no longer listen and sing-a-long seated in a metal fold down chair. This was Sarah McLachlan you know. She was just overcoming being ill, I think it's the least the crowd could do... if they knew.

The enthusiasm we started showing seemed to catch on with the rest of the audience and for both encores that started with a sing-a-long to "Ice Cream," seemed to take on much more of a vibrancy in the crowd. Sarah wore a cowboy hat that one enthusiastic fan had managed to toss on stage. I'm told, the reaction on her face was priceless when Sarah put it on and sang. Another highlight of the show was when McLachlan started to introduce a song she hadn't done in a long time. The women next to me and I had been exchanging smiles and singing to the songs together for a lot of the show, but when Sarah started talking about the next song she was going to perform, we looked at each other and yelled out "Solsbury Hill." The performance of this song was unbelievable, just amazing!

The show was closed with McLachlan playing "Dirty Little Secret," another from Afterglow solo on the piano, the crowd - still standing.

The crowd after all seemed amazed and I am positive the fans were more than thrilled with Sarah's performance. She is a true performer, musician, and her voice causes your hair to stand up from head to toe in awe. The only disappointment people might have walked out with was the absence of "Fear," a song that when performed makes your jaw drop, from the setlist.

The complete setlist is shown and written below:


World On Fire
Building A Mystery
Adia
Perfect Girl
Drifting
Push
I Will Remember You
Time
Blackbird
Fallen
Witness
Answer
Angel
Train Wreck
Stupid
Sweet Surrender
Possession
------------------------
Ice Cream
Solsbury Hill
Hold On
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
------------------------
Dirty Little Secret